


Missing

by Love (crazylove)



Series: So Long [6]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: #JohnJaeWeek2021, #JohnJaeWeek2021 Day 6, Alternate Universe - College/University, Emails, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Moving, Texting, Welcome to the Real World, post college, uncertainity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29388258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazylove/pseuds/Love
Summary: Johnny helps his friends navigate their romantic relationships while he fears he's losing his.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Series: So Long [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2156499
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64
Collections: JohnJae Fan Week 2021





	Missing

**Author's Note:**

> all in texts and emails
> 
> ET = Eastern Time  
> CT = Central Time  
> PT = Pacific Time

_July 30 th 7:35am ET/6:35am CT_

Johnny/Jaehyun

**Johnny**

GOOD MORNING MY LOVE!!!!!!!!

IT’S MOVING DAY!

 **Jaehyun** :

Such enthusiasm for so early in the morning.

What are you doing awake?

 **Johnny** :

How can I not be? You’re awake.

 **Jaehyun** :

Thank you. Make me coffee.

 **Johnny** :

I’m brewing a second cup for you right now.

Oh how I wish I could be there.

 **Jaehyun** :

Me too baby.

 **Johnny** :

This really sucks 😕

 **Jaehyun** :

Don’t sad face me.

 **Johnny** :

😃

 **Jaehyun** :

That’s a bit much…

 **Johnny** :

There’s no other appropriate emoji.

😕

 **Jaehyun** :

I miss you too…

 **Johnny** :

🍆

Wait. Found another appropriate one.

 **Jaehyun** :

Down boy.

I’m barely awake.

 **Johnny** :

How can you get coffee when I’m not there to get it for you!

I’m going to use DoorDash.

 **Jaehyun** :

Johnny, don’t. It’ll just add to the chaos.

**Johnny**

What’s going on? When are they getting there?

**Jaehyun**

Everyone said 8 but we’ll see. I have the UHaul outside. Jungwoo and Mark are already loading up some stuff.

**Johnny**

Tell everybody I said they’d BETTER be there on time 👿

**Jaehyun**

You’re not as intimidating when you’re not in person.

**Johnny**

I should be there in person.

**Jaehyun**

You have a job.

**Johnny**

I’ll take the day off.

**Jaehyun**

In your first week?

**Johnny**

I’ll call out dead. I can be reincarnated tomorrow.

**Jaehyun**

Okay Johnny

**Johnny**

I hate that I’m missing this.

**Jaehyun**

You did a lot, baby.

**Johnny**

Oh I know. I’ll yell at everyone in the group chat!

Good idea.

**Jaehyun**

I did not say that. 

**Johnny**

Thanks babe. No one will be late!

🐻

_July 30 th 7:41am ET/6:41am CT_

**DEATH CABIN SURVIVORS GROUP CHAT**

Johnny/Jaehyun/Jungwoo/Mark/Taeyong/Doyoung/Yuta

**Johnny**

RISE AND SHINE!!!!!!

Everybody better be awake!

And on their way to Jaehyun’s place.

**Jungwoo**

I’m already here.

**Mark**

Me too

**Johnny**

Jungwoo you don’t count you live there.

**Jungwoo**

Mark where are you?

**Mark**

The bathroom

**Jungwoo**

Without me?

**Mark**

It’s taking a while I’m shy at your place.

**Johnny**

Can you guys take this conversation OFFLINE???

**Jungwoo**

What does that mean?

**Doyoung**

we’re on our way. we’re driving.

taeyong is driving.

he says hi johnny

**Johnny**

HI!

**Yuta**

I’ll be there.

This is a favor you know.

**Johnny**

It’s not a favor for my boyfriend, it’s required

**Yuta**

Says the person who isn’t here.

**Johnny**

Don’t rub it in.

**Yuta**

Isn’t it time for you to push some paper?

**Johnny**

Not without knowing you all are moving Jaehyun in!

**Yuta**

We got this chill!

**Jaehyun**

Take your time…

Yuta is right, you’re doing us a favor.

**Johnny**

You need to do most of the stuff before the heat sets in! You already should have gotten started.

**Jaehyun**

I can handle it.

**Johnny**

If Jaehyun gets heatstroke, I’m coming down there and BEATING ALL OF YOUR ASSES!

**Yuta**

Calm down, isn’t it six am there?

I was kidding. Doing something for Jaehyun is never a favor.

He’s our brother, we got his back.

**Jaehyun**

thank you

**Taeyong**

Just pulled up out front.

Hi Johnny! You didn’t text me back last night.

**Johnny**

Sorry I totally crashed.

Working is hard.

you’ll find out soon

**Yuta**

Fooled you. I’m in the car too.

Jungwoo is wearing the shortest shorts I’ve ever seen on a man

**Jungwoo**

It’s hot!

Do you like them?

**Jaehyun**

Please don’t answer that

**Doyoung**

ok phones down if we’re going to help Jaehyun move

**Jaehyun**

thank you

**Johnny**

I want a full report every half hour!

**Yuta**

Johnny go to work!

🐻

_July 30 th 1:02pm ET/12:02pm CT_

Johnny/Taeyong

**Johnny**

Goodnight. Sorry late response

So how’s everything going?

**Taeyong**

Hey!

Yeah, real late with that.

We’re almost done! Jaehyun’s new place isn’t bad.

What did he say?

**Johnny**

He said he’s putting stuff away in the kitchen.

You know Jaehyun he’s real diplomatic.

He wouldn’t say anything if something went wrong.

Did you guys break the TV?

**Taeyong**

No it actually went really well!

Doyoung told us exactly how to pack the uhaul

We didn’t know if we were going to fit everything in but we did

**Johnny**

Thank you guys

I’m so grateful.

Really.

**Taeyong**

We know. But don’t worry about Jaehyun. He’s alright

**Johnny**

I don’t know.

I worry a lot.

I regret taking this stupid job.

I miss him so much.

**Taeyong**

You’ll see him on weekends.

We’ll be there for him.

I know you’d do the same for me.

**Johnny**

Is Doyoung moving to Chicago?

**Taeyong**

I’d never let him.

**Johnny**

😩

Ouch!

**Taeyong**

Haha

Sorry

I just can’t stand to be away from him for very long.

I’ve been thinking about something.

It’s a little bit crazy…

**Johnny**

Tell me.

**Taeyong**

It’s almost our second year anniversary.

We’ve talked about it.

We both graduated and we’re both good to stay here.

I’m looking into it

I want to marry him Johnny.

**Johnny**

Wow

That’s amazing!

That’s really good. You’re going to ask him?

**Taeyong**

I’m thinking about it…

**Johnny**

I think it’s incredible.

Isn’t it the best thing to be in love?

**Taeyong**

It really is Johnny.

**Johnny**

You know what’s the worst thing?

Lunch breaks. Mine is over. I gotta go!

🐻

_July 30 th 9:14pm ET/8:14pm CT_

Johnny/Jaehyun

**Johnny**

I’m home!

**Jaehyun**

Good. How was happy hour?

**Johnny**

It felt like more work.

But there’s one guy who’s kind of cool

Can you talk?

**Jaehyun**

I’m watching a movie with Jungwoo.

He’s in a weird mood.

**Johnny**

What happened?

**Jaehyun**

I don’t know. Too much moving? Mark left. I think they got in a fight.

**Johnny**

That sucks

It’s moving. It’s stressful.

After the movie?

**Jaehyun**

Yeah

Wait, will you be asleep?

**Johnny**

I’ll stay up for you.

**Jaehyun**

You gotta be ready for work.

**Johnny**

It’s Friday tomorrow. I’m sure it’s like really casual.

**Jaehyun**

I’m sure it’s not.

**Johnny**

I want you to tell me everything else about the move.

**Jaehyun**

There’s not much more to say.

Everyone was great.

The stuff is all here.

Thank you for helping me arrange everything, baby.

We’re okay.

Tonight we’ll see if the neighbors are loud.

**Johnny**

Babe, we camped out at that apartment building for three different nights. I think it’ll be quiet.

**Johnny**

I’ll talk to you all night so I know.

**Jaehyun**

Not all night. You have work.

**Johnny**

We’ll see what happens.

Tell Jungwoo I hope he feels better.

Call me when the movie is over.

**Jaehyun**

I will. You go relax.

**Johnny**

It’s so fucking weird to live by myself.

So quiet.

**Jaehyun**

That’s why we picked out those speakers.

**Johnny**

Yeah, I’ll crank them up.

But I’m waiting to hear your voice.

Don’t forget!

**Jaehyun**

I’ll never forget you

I love you.

**Johnny**

I love you, too.

🐻

_July 31 st 7:45pm ET/6:45pm CT_

Johnny/Jungwoo

**Jungwoo**

Hey

What are you doing?

**Johnny**

Hey! I’m on the L going home.

**Jungwoo**

What’s that?

**Johnny**

The train in Chicago. Like the subway but it’s above ground

We’ll use it when you come visit.

How are you?

**Jungwoo**

I’m okay.

**Johnny**

Just okay?

Jaehyun said you were in a weird mood last night.

**Jungwoo**

Ohhhhhhh yeah

Yeah

It’s weird being here. I don’t like switching places. I miss our old apartment.

**Johnny**

I can imagine.

It really sucks.

But you have Jaehyun. You’re lucky. He’s gonna make the place nice for you.

We searched high and low for a really nice apartment in your guy’s budget.

**Jungwoo**

He cooked tonight!

**Johnny**

See?

**Jungwoo**

It wasn’t that good…

**Johnny**

It’s the thought that counts 😊

**Jungwoo**

Not when it comes to food!

**Johnny**

You ate it though, didn’t you?

**Jungwoo**

😅

I’ll eat anything!

**Johnny**

😂

**Jungwoo**

I wanted to ask your advice Johnny.

**Johnny**

What’s up?

**Jungwoo**

Mark’s mad at me.

I forgot his birthday.

**Johnny**

How did you forget his birthday?

It’s August 2nd

**Jungwoo**

How did you know???

**Johnny**

I know all my friends birthdays. It’s a skill

So you didn’t forget it.

**Jungwoo**

I did!

When we were moving I told Mark that I was going to go to Detroit with my new friend Lucas on 8/2.

Lucas’s father is a movie producer and they are filming in Detroit that day.

**Johnny**

Uh oh. Is Mark friends with Lucas, too?

**Jungwoo**

No, I met Lucas in my summer class.

Mark was mad that I made plans on his birthday.

I feel bad.

I told him I wasn’t going to go anymore!

He said that I don’t think about him.

I feel like I’m a bad person 😞

**Johnny**

Awww Jungwoo. I know you think of him.

You’re not a bad person. You’re funny and you always make people smile. That’s an important trait in a person.

Especially someone like you, who has gone through some real shit in life.

I really admire that about you.

You’re not a bad person. Apologize to Mark. But you still have time to make this right.

**Jungwoo**

I don’t know if he wants to talk to me. He hasn’t talked to me all day.

**Johnny**

Call him? Let him know that you want to figure this out.

What’s something that Mark likes?

**Jungwoo**

Lately we really like playing Animal Crossing.

**Johnny**

Send him a cute invite to your island or whatever. I don’t know shit about that game but… do something sweet around that. Break the ice. And then see if you can visit him and talk to him.

You can do it

When you’re dating, you’re bound to hurt each other’s feelings sometimes.

Does any of this help?

**Jungwoo**

Yeah, Johnny

I think you’re really romantic so I wanted to ask you.

You’re always making hyung smile!

But he’s not smiling as much these days…

**Johnny**

Don’t break my heart, Jungwoo.

Keep an eye on him for me, will you?

**Jungwoo**

I promise!

He’s my cousin, I love him more than you 😛

**Johnny**

I don’t think so!

**Jungwoo**

🤣

He loves me more than you!

**Johnny**

😒

maybe

🐻

_August 2 nd 11:48am ET/10:48am CT_

**To** : [Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com](mailto:Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com)

 **From** : [SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com](mailto:SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com)

 **Subject** : Thinking about you…

Hey baby,

I am up way too early on a Sunday. But sleeping alone fucking sucks. I don’t know how I ever did it without you. Or even when we were dating. Why did we spend so many nights not together? It feels crazy that when we were together, we chose to be apart.

I’m being really sappy right now, aren’t I? You know, I had an idea to write you an actual real love letter. Like with pen and paper. Maybe even in Korean? But the mail is so slow. I want to talk to you now. It’s crazy how much I think about you. I’m not sure you even know. It’s impossible to quantify the way you’re always on my mind. Especially now that I’m without you. I’m really missing you.

I was texting with Jungwoo the other day. He hasn’t gotten back to me yet so I hoped it worked out. He asked me about romance. Really cute. It made me think about how I hope you think I’m romantic. I thought it was romantic when we put the love lock on the fence at Namsan tower. I’d seen it on TV but I still couldn’t believe there were so many. I don’t know. I think those locks should only be reserved for true love, not just if you’re on a date, you know? I know I have true love with you but we had to fight for space with all those locks from people who broke up in a month.

I think you’re romantic. It’s in the way you look at me. I love your smile. But more than that, the way you listen to me and remember everything that I say. Like on our first second date and you bought the wine that I liked. It stuck with me so much, baby. I know you’re always thinking about me.

Taeyong told me some exciting news. I don’t know if he told you. But he’s thinking about proposing to Doyoung… soon, I guess. They had the right idea, both going to grad school at the same place. What do you think? I think it’s very cool. I’m excited for them. Taeyong better make me best man! I wanna know how he’s going to do it. How do you plan something like that? What would you like?

Write me back even though we talk all day…

Love,

Johnny

🐻

_August 2 nd 2:45pm ET/1:45 pm PT_

**OMG Are You From Seattle?! (Korea Trip) Group Chat**

Johnny/Jaehyun/Jungwoo/Mark

**Johnny**

Happy Birthday Mark!

I was saving this pic for your birthday.

_-sends pic-_

This one too.

_-sends pic-_

**Mark**

Thanks!

Wow… where was this?

**Johnny**

When we went to the beach on our second to last night.

**Mark**

I’ve never had pics like this of me before

**Jungwoo**

You look amazing. You look like a celebrity!

**Mark**

I’m really shocked.

**Johnny**

Don’t be. Perfect lighting and you’re a good looking guy

**Jungwoo**

You are. I always tell you you’re hot, Markie!

**Mark**

Oooookay…

**Johnny**

_-sends pic-_

You two are very cute together

**Mark**

Wow how many pictures do you have that you haven’t shown us?

**Johnny**

Hundreds

**Jungwoo**

I look weird.

**Mark**

No way, that picture is awesome.

I want to frame it.

Thank you Johnny!

**Johnny**

Let me. I’ll print it out and frame it for you. Give me a week or so.

**Jungwoo**

What about me?

**Johnny**

See it when you go to Mark’s place!

Are you two together today?

**Mark**

Yep!

**Jungwoo**

Yeah

We’re at a Jurassic Park marathon. All the movies!

**Johnny**

That sounds… exhausting.

Have fun!

**Jaehyun**

I’m late

Happy Birthday Mark

**Johnny**

Where are you?

**Jaehyun**

Library. Practice test #2.

Gotta go

**Jungwoo**

He’s so boring

Jurassic Park III

Bye Johnny!

**Mark**

Bye!

🐻

_August 2 nd 4:44pm ET/3:44pm PT_

Johnny/Mark

**Mark**

Hi Johnny!

I wanted to say thank you again.

I’m so impressed.

Thank you!

**Johnny**

You’re welcome Mark

How was the movie?

**Mark**

Jurassic Park III is so bad

It’s kinda sad 😞 

**Johnny**

I’m… sorry?

**Mark**

Did you mean it when you said you’d frame the picture for me?

**Johnny**

Of course I did

I don’t say things I don’t mean

**Mark**

Thank you!

I’m excited.

**Johnny**

I think I can develop it. I just need to find a place around here

**Mark**

Johnny your pictures are so amazing.

You should be a photographer!

**Johnny**

Haha tell that to my bank account

**Mark**

I’m serious!

What about those places at the mall?

**Johnny**

🤣

Mark you flatter me.

You know malls are dying right?

**Mark**

Instagram!

**Johnny**

Yeah, because I’m cool enough to be an influencer

Thank you though

**Mark**

You should send all the pictures to me from the trip. I want to see them.

**Johnny**

I will. I’m still working on them.

I didn’t have a lot of time after the trip.

Now I do since I’m mostly… alone.

**Mark**

Awesome!

Jungwoo has to go to the bathroom. Byeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

🐻

_August 2 nd 11:17pm ET/10:17pm CT_

Johnny/Jaehyun

**Johnny**

Hellllllllllloooooooo darling

Barely heard from you all day

**Jaehyun**

Sorry

**Johnny**

How were the practice tests?

**Jaehyun**

Not great

**Johnny**

It’s just practice

Plus tests don’t really say how smart you are.

They should be outlawed.

**Jaehyun**

I wanted to take the test on the 14th but now I think I’m gonna push it to the 8th.

**Johnny**

I’m sure you’re not doing that bad on the practice tests.

**Jaehyun**

I don’t feel confident.

**Johnny**

I want you to feel confident.

The 8th it is.

**Jaehyun**

But that means I can’t see you over labor day.

**Johnny**

Yeah I figured that.

But you know, you have to do what you have to do.

It’s all so you can get here, right?

**Jaehyun**

Right

**Johnny**

I want you to feel well prepared.

But even if you don’t make it into Northwestern, there’s a lot of other great schools here.

There’s also online schools.

Lots of options.

**Jaehyun**

But Northwestern has the program I want and the scholarship I want.

**Johnny**

I’ll help you pay for anything babe.

don’t feel locked into one option.

**Jaehyun**

Okay

Thank you

**Johnny**

Did you get my email?

**Jaehyun**

Yeah, but I haven’t read it yet.

I’m teaching at 8 tomorrow.

I’ll call you in the morning

**Johnny**

Okay

I love you

**Jaehyun**

Goodnight

🐻

_August 3 rd 6:37am ET/5:37am CT_

**To** : [SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com](mailto:SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com)

 **From** : [Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com](mailto:Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com)

 **Subject** : Re: Thinking about you…

Good morning.

I think you’re very romantic. Anything you do for me makes me smile. Thanks for talking to Jungwoo. I think he’s over whatever was happening with Mark. I didn’t see him all at yesterday.

That’s exciting for Taeyong and Doyoung. I think you just plan out what’s right for you. I don’t know, I’ve never thought about being proposed to? Whatever you do is fine. Maybe I would propose to you.

Have a good day at work. Thanks for the email.

Jaehyun

🐻

_August 3 rd 3:40pm ET/2:40pm CT_

Johnny/Yuta

**Yuta**

I have NEWS!

Can you talk?

**Johnny**

Yeah. I’m sitting here doing nothing.

**Yuta**

I quit my job today

**Johnny**

Whoa. Just like that?

**Yuta**

On the spot.

Don’t even know if they’re gonna send me my last paycheck

But I don’t give a FUCK!

**Johnny**

Wow

**Yuta**

Sicheng asked me to go with him

He’s doing a BUNCH of different clubs and festivals and shit this month

I think we’re finally official official OFFICIAL!!!!

**Johnny**

Congrats

That sounds really exciting.

Where are you going?

**Yuta**

I’m STOKED

Everywhere. But one place we’re going is Ibiza!

Spain!

**Johnny**

Wow you really mean everywhere

**Yuta**

EVERYWHERE

I can’t wait

**Johnny**

When are you leaving?

**Yuta**

This weekend. So I’m gonna spend the week packing up and selling all my shit and getting out of here early

**Johnny**

Wow

**Yuta**

Yeah and then I’ll be back in time to start

I can’t tell you how happy I am

This LDR thing SUCKS.

I mean no offense.

At least you and Jae know where you stand.

It was never that clear with Sicheng.

Now I know for sure!

**Johnny**

Yeah. It’s really cool.

**Yuta**

Why didn’t you and Jaehyun do this? You should have had one last fling.

**Johnny**

We went to Korea.

**Yuta**

That was a family trip. I mean a trip where the whole time is spent eating and fucking!

**Johnny**

Isn’t Sicheng going to be working?

**Yuta**

Believe me, he doesn’t work that hard.

**Johnny**

I don’t know, I guess we didn’t think of it.

A sex trip…

**Yuta**

A sex trip should be the FIRST thing on your minds!

**Johnny**

I’m really happy for you.

First a sex trip.

Then your dream job in New York City.

**Yuta**

Dude no words

Feels like my life is finally coming together.

**Johnny**

Feels like the end of an era

**Yuta**

The era ended when you left three weeks ago!

**Johnny**

Makes me a little sad

**Yuta**

I can’t be sad.

You shouldn’t be sad either.

We’re all spreading our wings and flyyyyyyyyying into the future!

Isn’t weed legal there? You should buy some.

**Johnny**

Yeah I should

And I shouldn’t be talking about buying weed at work

Let’s talk later?

**Yuta**

Text me!

🐻

_August 3 rd 8:18pm ET/7:18pm CT_

**To** : [Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com](mailto:Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com)

 **From** : [SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com](mailto:SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com)

 **Subject** : Re: Re: Thinking about you…

Ha ha so email isn’t very romantic.

I should write you a letter. I don’t know if you can read my handwriting. Can you?

You’ve never thought about how you want to be proposed to? I think you should think about that and let me know. I haven’t thought about how I want it done to me but I’ve definitely thought about doing it. (Wow, that sounds so dirty. I kind of like it though.)

You’re right that it has to be very personal. Think about the scale from proposal at the Super Bowl to proposal in bed right before you go to sleep with your partner. What side of that scale are you on? I feel like I’m in the middle. I don’t wanna do Super Bowl. First of all, who can get tickets? Second of all, you aren’t into football that much. I’d do a sport you like! But anyway, I think I’d want it to be more romantic and intimate. After all, getting engaged is a decision between the two of us. It’s not something that other people get to weigh in on. So who cares if they watch, right?

But then again, I think it deserves celebration. So maybe at a restaurant? That way the proposal part is private but then everyone sees you say yes, and claps and you get free dessert. That would be sweet, right? I’d go to a place where you really like the dessert. Then we can go home and celebrate. All night. Would you like that? Would you say yes? You don’t have to answer that!

Well, guess what Yuta told me? He’s going around the world with Sicheng until he starts at Ralph Lauren. They are doing a whirlwind sex trip because Sicheng has so many DJ gigs. Can you believe it? He asked me why we didn’t have a sex trip. Now I’m thinking when we should have one! Would that be fun? We could go to Hawaii. We could go to a resort. He said Korea didn’t count. I get what he means. I mean we had sex but it wasn’t a SEX trip. I’m horny, obviously. Let’s see each other later? Maybe tonight?

I shouldn’t have started work so soon. Stupid sign on bonus. I’m not even doing anything. All my training is just me sitting in my cube by myself all day. I get a lot of time to think about you at least. I also get to look at all the pictures on my phone I need to transfer to my computer. Mark texted me to thank me about that pic I took of him and Jungwoo at Lotte World. It really is a great picture of them. He asked me why I’m not a photographer. Ha! Do you remember what it was like to be young enough to have dreams? But he got me thinking. I do have more free time now that I’m living by myself in Chicago and I don’t have a life. I could get back into photography more. Senior year got nuts. I miss using my camera and I have a billion pictures to develop.

This weekend I’m going home to see my parents. We’re also going to have a mini-high school reunion at a bar. A bunch of my classmates are back after graduation. I can’t wait to brag about you. Everyone is going to see your picture and they won’t understand how you ended up with me. How did that happen anyway? I’m so lucky.

I love you. I’ll talk to you later tonight.

Love,

Johnny

🐻

_August 3 rd 11:15pm ET/10:15pm CT_

Johnny/Jaehyun

**Jaehyun**

Hey just got your email.

I will reply.

Let’s FaceTime but I’m tired.

Can we just chill and listen to music?

**Johnny**

Of course baby

**Jaehyun**

It’s been a long day.

Sorry.

**Johnny**

Don’t say sorry

You’re working your brain too hard!

Can we be naked at least?

**Jaehyun**

Yeah

**Johnny**

And can I jerk off…?

**Jaehyun**

If it makes you happy. I’ll cheer you on.

**Johnny**

Maybe some sexy cheering?

**Jaehyun**

Maybe

**Johnny**

I’m mad we haven’t broke our streak of 78 days

**Jaehyun**

Haven’t had a chance yet to start over yet

**Johnny**

Remember when we went like 3 months without having sex?

**Jaehyun**

You nearly killed me.

**Johnny**

I hope it’s not going to be like that again.

I don’t want you dead.

**Jaehyun**

We’re not quite there yet

**Johnny**

Three weeks? Getting close

I miss you

**Jaehyun**

I miss you too

I’ll call you in ten minutes

**Johnny**

I’ll be ready

🐻

_August 5 th 4:31pm ET/3:31pm CT_

**To:** [SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com](mailto:SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com)

 **From** : [Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com](mailto:Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com)

 **Subject** : Re: Re: Re: Thinking about you…

Sorry for the late response.

Where do I fall on the proposal scale? Probably in bed. Then it’s just the two of us. I like that idea.

Sex trip sounds fun. Good for Yuta. Yeah, I wish we could go on one. But you know I’m trying to keep my budget tight this year to make sure Jungwoo is okay for his senior year. We can have a sex trip in Chicago when I visit. Let’s bang somewhere exotic? Never been to your room before.

Sorry I’m not so great about emails. They remind me of work.

I can read your handwriting just fine.

Jaehyun

🐻

_August 8 th 12:13am ET/ August 7th 11:13pm CT_

**DEATH CABIN SURVIVORS GROUP CHAT**

Johnny/Jaehyun/Jungwoo/Mark/Taeyong/Doyoung/Yuta

**Yuta**

Ayyyyyyyyyyy Johnny!

_-sends pic-_

**Johnny**

You’re KILLING me!

**Yuta**

Thought you’d be in bed old man.

Working stiff!

**Taeyong**

We miss you!

**Johnny**

Everyone’s there

**Jungwoo**

_-sends video-_

**Johnny**

WHY IS JAEHYUN DOING A BODY SHOT OFF DOYOUNG!!!!

**Taeyong**

Truth or Dare. I think they both lost.

**Johnny**

What is going on?????

**Yuta**

Last Pizza and Beer Friday Night

**Taeyong**

Going away party for Yuta

**Jungwoo**

It’s a party!

**Mark**

Hey Johnny!

_-sends pic-_

**Johnny**

There’s a beer pong table in my room?!

**Yuta**

You’re not in it. Now we can finally have one.

**Mark**

I’m losing so bad.

**Doyoung**

sorry they made me

for the record we did not enjoy

**Johnny**

You didn’t tell me you were having a party

**Yuta**

Are you here?

**Taeyong**

Sorry it kind of came together last minute.

We’re texting you because we wish you were here!

We miss you so much.

**Johnny**

Wish I could be there

**Jungwoo**

We’re having sooooooooooooooo much fun!

**Mark**

Your turn Woo!

**Doyoung**

you guys won’t get your deposit back

**Taeyong**

Don’t worry, I’ll clean up!

**Yuta**

I’m mad you’re not here Johnny. It fucking sucks. I’m leaving tomorrow. I’ll call you.

**Johnny**

I’m gonna cry myself to sleep.

**Taeyong**

We love you!

🐻

_August 8 th 12:37am ET/August 7th 11:37pm CT_

Johnny/Jaehyun

**Johnny**

You didn’t mention this party???

I haven’t even talked to you tonight!

**Jaehyun**

Sorry

I actually wasn’t going to go but Jungwoo made me

I’m glad he did.

We wish you were here.

**Johnny**

You wish I was there so much that you didn’t bother to text me that you’re at a party with my friends at my apartment?

Body shots?

**Jaehyun**

It was my dare. No big deal.

**Johnny**

You could have told me. That’s a big deal.

You kind of suck at texting sometimes.

**Jaehyun**

I know

**Johnny**

It’s not good when I’m 250 miles away

**Jaehyun**

I know

**Johnny**

How drunk are you?

**Jaehyun**

Somewhat

**Johnny**

Call me when you get home.

**Jaehyun**

You need sleep. You’re leaving early tomorrow.

**Johnny**

Just call me.

**Jaehyun**

Okay

**Johnny**

Okay

🐻

_August 8 th 2:22pm ET/1:22pm CT_

Johnny/Taeyong

**Johnny**

My mom says hi.

**Taeyong**

Hiiiiiiii Mrs. Suh!

I miss your mommy.

**Johnny**

She misses you too.

She’s still so bummed you missed Christmas.

**Taeyong**

Me too! I loved being with Doyoung, but Christmas at Johnny’s home is so much more homey.

**Johnny**

My home is your home.

Speaking of which…

How weird is the apartment?

**Taeyong**

So weird!

You’re gone. Yuta’s gone.

And in two weeks, I’ll be gone. Can’t believe it.

**Johnny**

Yeah, I talked to Yuta this morning before he got on the plane.

He said the party was fun

**Taeyong**

So many people. It made me realize we’d never thrown a proper house party before

**Johnny**

Yay. You waited until I was gone to do.

**Taeyong**

Awwwwww I’m sorry!

**Johnny**

I don’t know. 

I felt so responsible and lucky taking this job.

But now I feel like I made a mistake.

**Taeyong**

You didn’t! You are responsible and smart!

It’s only a year.

**Johnny**

This is going to be the longest year of my life.

Jaehyun barely talks to me and it’s only been a month.

I understand you guys not telling me about the party but Jaehyun?

**Taeyong**

You know he has a lot going on with studying for the GMAT and tutoring and starting classes soon and looking after Jungwoo.

**Johnny**

I feel like I’m priority number zero.

I write him these long thoughtful emails and he barely gives me 3 sentences.

**Taeyong**

I think Jaehyun is more of an in person communication kind of guy

**Johnny**

That’s what I’m afraid of.

How does that work in a long distance relationship?

**Taeyong**

You two will figure it out

**Johnny**

It’s not like you and Doyoung.

We’ve only been together 9 months, not two years.

I feel like I should have thought this through more

Plus I hate my job!

**Taeyong**

It’s too soon to hate your job.

Time doesn’t matter. It’s your feelings.

It’s your relationship.

**Johnny**

I should have figured out a way to stay in Michigan with him.

Jaehyun says emailing me feels like work.

**Taeyong**

I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way.

Johnny think of the positive things! You’re closer to your family now. They best people in the world. You’re making an awesome salary.

**Johnny**

It would go further in MI.

I love my parents but I can’t be there all the time.

**Taeyong**

Enjoy them this weekend.

**Johnny**

It’s hard to enjoy anything right now.

**Taeyong**

Awwww I really hate to see you like this!

Call Jaehyun okay?

**Johnny**

My hungover boyfriend

**Taeyong**

Happens to us all.

Cheer up Johnny.

It’ll be okay

**Johnny**

I’ll try.

🐻

_August 8 th 4:14 pm ET/3:14pm CT_

Johnny/Jungwoo

**Johnny**

You gonna be home tonight?

**Jungwoo**

I think so! I think Mark is just going to come over.

**Johnny**

How is he?

**Jungwoo**

He’s fine.

It’s called a hangover! Not cancer.

It’s called passing out so he can’t call Johnny.

He’s asleep.

But I did what you say so don’t worry.

**Johnny**

He should be awake by now. It’s after 4.

Wake him up. Make sure he’s not dead.

**Jungwoo**

He’s not dead

He’s probably hiding. He’s probably embarrassed.

He was embarrassing! I’m not easily embarrassed.

I’ve never seen him drink so much.

Missing Johnny.

**Johnny**

Is that what you think?

**Jungwoo**

I knowwwwww

**Johnny**

How do you know?

**Jungwoo**

I told you he’s miserable.

**Johnny**

You did not

**Jungwoo**

I DID!

**Johnny**

No

**Jungwoo**

I totally did.

Crying over Johnny.

**Johnny**

He was crying?

You didn’t tell me that.

**Jungwoo**

You don’t listen to me!

**Johnny**

Will you tell me when he’s awake?

**Jungwoo**

Yeah… I will. Don’t worry. I’m taking good care of him.

**Johnny**

I know you are. Thank you Jungwoo.

🐻

_August 8 th 7:25pm ET/6:25pm CT_

Johnny/Jaehyun

**Johnny**

hey

Jungwoo told me you’re awake

How are you?

**Jaehyun**

Fine.

**Johnny**

Joined the land of the living?

Can we talk? Let’s video chat.

**Jaehyun**

I don’t feel up to it.

**Johnny**

We can just text.

**Jaehyun**

I have a headache so I think I’m not going to look at screens.

**Johnny**

We can talk on the phone.

We don’t even have to talk.

I’ll listen to you breathing while you do whatever.

**Jaehyun**

I’m sure you have better things to do.

**Johnny**

I really don’t.

Jaehyun what’s going on?

Jungwoo said you were embarrassing at the party and you were crying?

**Jaehyun**

You know Jungwoo exaggerates.

I just don’t feel good.

I can’t talk.

**Johnny**

Okay…

Text me when you’re feeling better

🐻

_August 9 th 8:03pm ET/7:03pm CT/5:03pm PT_

**ROOMIES Group Chat**

Johnny/Taeyong/Yuta

**Johnny**

Where are you guys?

**Taeyong**

At home.

**Yuta**

I am in PARADISE!

AKA fucking LA!

**Taeyong**

Yay!

**Johnny**

Where are you right now?

**Yuta**

The hotel room. Sicheng has a meeting.

**Yuta**

What’s up?

**Johnny**

I’m going fucking insane.

What happened at the party?

**Taeyong**

What are you talking about?

**Yuta**

Yeah we told you everything.

**Johnny**

I’ve barely heard from Jaehyun since then.

Did something happen?

Other than the body shots?

Crying? Jaehyun was embarrassing?

**Taeyong**

It really wasn’t a big deal

**Yuta**

Dude you know me and parties. If something happened, I would have told you. Jaehyun was extremely drunk. But he didn’t do anything. We’ve all been to parties like that.

**Johnny**

You didn’t tell us about Sicheng…

**Yuta**

Damn. But I did tell you later.

You can trust us. Nobody is keeping a secret about something that Jaehyun did at a party. We’re not keeping anything from you.

**Taeyong**

Yeah Johnny we wouldn’t do that.

**Johnny**

I know.

Like I said I’m freaking out.

He’s not talking to me.

**Yuta**

Have you called him?

**Johnny**

Everything! He says he doesn’t wanna talk.

Did he take something?

**Taeyong**

All we had was weed. The party wasn’t that big.

**Yuta**

We weren’t with him the whole time but if something major happened I think we would know.

**Johnny**

I don’t know what to do.

**Taeyong**

I’m sorry you’re going through this Johnny 😟

**Yuta**

Yeah man

What can we do?

**Johnny**

If you talk to him, tell him that I really want to talk.

**Taeyong**

Of course

**Johnny**

Tell me if you think about anything that could have happened at the party. Or if you hear anything.

**Yuta**

Do you think he cheated on you or something?

**Taeyong**

Yuta… don’t say that.

**Johnny**

I don’t know. I don’t know what to think.

**Taeyong**

I’m sure it’s fine Johnny. He might be busy. He might be sick.

**Yuta**

He might be ghosting you and if he is, I am hopping on a plane.

I helped that fucker move. I know where he lives.

**Taeyong**

Yuta!

J **ohnny**

Thanks guys

I’ll keep you updated

🐻

_August 9 th 11:11pm ET/10:11pm CT_

Johnny/Jaehyun

**Johnny**

Hi…

**Johnny**

Haven’t heard from you all day.

I’m worried.

Are you okay?

**Jaehyun**

Yeah

**Johnny**

Okay?

**Jaehyun**

Johnny I’m going to bed

Goodnight

🐻

_August 10 th 2:33pm ET/1:33pm CT_

Johnny/Mark

**Mark**

Hi Johnny!

I got the package.

I’ve never gotten mail like that before.

So cool!

**Johnny**

You’re welcome

Glad it came safely. I paid for insurance.

**Mark**

The picture looks even better in person

How should I hang it on my wall?

**Johnny**

You know what I’ve been using lately? Alien tape. It’s really easy to use and you can take it off when you move out of the dorm.

**Mark**

I’m going to put it on the wall next to my bed.

I have the bottom bunk this year.

Then I can look at Jungwoo and me right before I go to sleep every night.

**Johnny**

That’s really sweet. I’m glad you like it.

**Mark**

I love it. Thank you for taking a picture of us like that.

We look really in love.

**Johnny**

You do.

It’s beautiful.

**Mark**

Wow…

I’ve never seen myself in love before.

**Johnny**

There you go Mark. I’m glad I could do that for you.

**Mark**

I’ve never been in love before Jungwoo.

Sometimes I’m not sure we’re good at it.

You know what we say?

**Johnny**

What’s that?

**Mark**

We want to be like you and Jaehyun! Because you guys really love each other. Jungwoo says that all the time.

**Johnny**

Really? What do you mean?

**Mark**

Like you guys are always together and looking at each other and doing things for each other. I feel like everyone can tell that you’re in love. They think Jungwoo and I are just kids.

**Johnny**

You kind of are but… I get what you mean.

I take you two seriously.

And thank you for that. Anything you need, Mark, I’m here for you.

But Jaehyun and I aren’t always together anymore.

**Mark**

That’s just because you’re living in Chicago.

If you were here, you would always be together. And I bet you talk all the time now!

**Johnny**

Thanks Mark

I have to get back to work, okay?

**Mark**

Okay, Johnny. Thanks again for my picture!

**Johnny**

Anything for you Mark.

🐻

_August 10 th 8:19pm ET/7:19pm CT_

Johnny/Jaehyun

**Johnny**

How are you today?

This is getting ridiculous.

I heard something funny.

Mark said that he and Jungwoo look up to us and they want to be like us.

They think we’re a perfect couple.

It’s cute.

How wrong they are.

Where are you?

Why aren’t you talking to me?

What happened?

We can’t do this.

Jaehyun

🐻

_August 11 th 9:43pm ET/8:43pm CT_

Johnny/Jungwoo

**Johnny**

Hey

Where’s your cousin?

**Jungwoo**

What do you mean?

**Johnny**

He hasn’t talked to me for two days.

Is he home?

**Jungwoo**

Whoa! Really?

He’s not home.

**Johnny**

You better not be covering for him.

I’m so mad.

**Jungwoo**

No! Honestly Johnny I wouldn’t.

I had no idea.

**Johnny**

How’s he been?

**Jungwoo**

Normal! I didn’t know.

**Johnny**

Where is he?

**Jungwoo**

I think he’s at the library?

**Johnny**

Has he said anything?

Tell me, Jungwoo.

**Jungwoo**

He hasn’t. I’ve been with Mark a lot and I haven’t seen him.

I’m sorry Johnny.

I’ll talk to him for you!

**Johnny**

Don’t.

I just want to know he’s okay.

**Jungwoo**

He’s okay. He’s not in the hospital or anything.

**Johnny**

Okay

**Jungwoo**

Are you okay Johnny?

**Johnny**

Not really

🐻

_August 12 th 01:34am ET/12:34 CT_

Johnny/Jaehyun

**Jaehyun**

Hi

**Johnny**

I don’t even know what to say…

**Jaehyun**

Jungwoo told me you texted him

**Johnny**

Okay. So otherwise you would have continued to ignore me?

Great.

Can we talk?

**Jaehyun**

It’s late

**Johnny**

We’re obviously awake

What’s your problem?

What’s going on?

**Jaehyun**

I need some space.

**Johnny**

Why?

What happened?

Pick up the damn phone!

**Jaehyun**

I’m going to sleep

**Johnny**

Jaehyun don’t do this.

**Jaehyun**

I’ll text you in a few days.

🐻

_Aug 12 th 1:12am CT/ Aug 11th 11:12pm PT_

Johnny/Yuta

**Johnny**

Yuta

Yuta

Yuta

Are you there?

Oh my god

**Yuta**

Hey what’s up I’m here

**Johnny**

Can you talk?

**Yuta**

I’m in a club right now but give me like 15 minutes?

I can text

What’s going on Johnny?

**Johnny**

Jaehyun broke up with me

**Yuta**

WHAT?!

Okay I’ll try to get out of here.

What the FUCK?

What did he say?

**Johnny**

He said he needs some space

I’m reeeeeeeeeeeally freaking out

really

I feel like I’m falling apart

ugh

**Yuta**

I’ll be able to talk in about 5 minutes.

After I talk to you, I’m flying back to Michigan.

I am tearing him apart.

I’m so sorry Johnny.

I’m so FUCKING MAD.

I never thought he would be like this. I mean, this doesn’t sound like Jaehyun.

Maybe it’s not a break up?

Let’s talk. Hold on Johnny.

I’ll always be there for you.

🐻

_August 13 th 8:45pm ET/7:45pm CT_

**To** : [Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com](mailto:Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com)

 **From** : [SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com](mailto:SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com)

**Subject:**

Jaehyun,

This really isn’t fair to me.

Johnny

🐻

August 14th 10:11pm ET/9:11pm CT

Johnny/Jungwoo

**Jungwoo**

Hi Johnny.

Are you mad at me?

**Johnny**

Why would I be mad at you?

**Jungwoo**

Because… Jaehyun.

**Johnny**

I’m not mad at you.

What did he say to you?

**Jungwoo**

I shouldn’t get in the middle.

**Johnny**

Is he okay?

**Jungwoo**

I don’t know

**Johnny**

What’s wrong?

**Jungwoo**

Johnny…

**Johnny**

Is he seeing someone else?

**Jungwoo**

No way!

**Johnny**

Tell me what’s wrong.

**Jungwoo**

He’s really sad

**Johnny**

I don’t understand.

**Jungwoo**

He’s not talking to me either.

**Johnny**

Really?

**Jungwoo**

Yeah

**Johnny**

You know Jaehyun loves you more than anything, right?

You’re number one in his life.

**Jungwoo**

Johnny, I think that’s you.

🐻

_August 15 th 9:22am ET/8:22am CT_

Johnny/Taeyong

**Johnny**

Have you ever just laid in bed in the dark for a whole weekend?

**Taeyong**

Oh Johnny…

**Johnny**

Were you awake?

**Taeyong**

Of course I am.

**Johnny**

I miss our apartment so much right now.

I hate being alone.

**Taeyong**

You’re not alone.

**Johnny**

There’s no one else here.

**Taeyong**

I would talk but Doyoung is still asleep.

**Johnny**

Your boyfriend right beside you.

Your boyfriend soon to be fiancé.

I was so stupid to think we’d get that far.

**Taeyong**

Johnny stop.

**Johnny**

I can’t.

**Taeyong**

Maybe move back home for a little bit?

**Johnny**

The commute would be 90 minutes each way.

**Taeyong**

I’m worried about you.

Have you heard from him?

**Johnny**

I’m seriously considering calling in dead.

I haven’t slept since we last texted.

**Taeyong**

You need sleep.

**Johnny**

My brain won’t shut off.

I miss him so much.

And I’m so fucking pissed off.

I don’t know what to do.

**Taeyong**

Give yourself time Johnny.

This is a little extreme but maybe take some Benadryl and pass out? I really think you need sleep.

I wish I could be there with you.

I love you Johnny.

It’s going to be okay.

**Johnny**

I don’t think so.

🐻

_August 15 th 6:32pm CT_

**To** : [SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com](mailto:SuhJohnnyJ@gmail.com)

 **From:** [Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com](mailto:Jaehyun.Y.Jung@gmail.com)

 **Subject** : Re:

Dear Johnny,

I know it isn’t fair to you. Saying I’m sorry isn’t enough.

We always said we wanted to be honest with each other and say exactly how we feel from the start of our relationship. That’s always been hard for me. I never really learned how to express how I feel. My family was all about appearances. Your feelings never really mattered. The only person I could share my feelings with was Jungwoo. But I didn’t want to overwhelm him with my issues. So even though we’re really close, I kept a lot from him. I wanted to protect him.

You’re the only person I’ve ever been able to be truly real with. But even that is hard. Johnny, the way you see the world is incredible. I’m not sure you realize this about yourself. You have a brightness to you that makes everyone feel at ease. You can make friends wherever you go. You genuinely believe that everything’s going to be okay. When I first met you, I felt at ease. It was the way you smiled at me. It was the way you instantly trusted me. You inspire me so much. I don’t know if I’ve ever truly told you that.

Everything in my life got better after I met you. I was happier. I felt secure in my new home. I felt secure in my own skin. I realized what I’d been missing in life. What I was missing was the ability to be myself. Before you I always worried that I wasn’t good enough or smart enough or interesting enough or worthy enough. You know I had that terrible future my father set for me hanging over my head. I truly thought I was going to spend my life with someone I didn’t love in a job I hated. I accepted that.

Then I found you and you instantly liked me, even though I didn’t do anything but sit there. You helped me find the confidence to believe in myself. You taught me that I was good enough just as I was. You never shied away from me, Johnny. I didn’t realize that I needed that so much.

There’s stuff I still don’t talk about. It’s not because I don’t want to or because I don’t trust you. It’s only because I don’t want that baggage to be a part of my life now. I want to focus on you and my future. I’ve worked so hard for this. You gave me the strength to stand up to my dad. I feel like I’m able to forge my own path in life because of you. It’s important, even though I don’t know what that path is yet.

I want a passion. But now that you’re gone, I realized that my passion is you. My passion is being with you. It scares me and excites me at the same time. Because I don’t know what to do without you. I didn’t realize this about myself before. You give me energy. You give me purpose. I don’t know if it’s good or bad. I really need you, Johnny.

After the party, it really hit me. I drank too much. It triggered something inside me. I felt like I was falling into a black hole. It was really bad. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you. I should have. I didn’t realize how hard this would be. I didn’t even realize that I had that inside me. That something could hurt that bad. I didn’t know that I could miss you that much. I honestly didn’t know.

I’m not sure what to do. The only option is for us to be together. Please don’t think I don’t want to be with you. I hope you still want to be with me. I know I treated you like shit over the past week. I understand that you’re really mad and hurt. You should be. But I need to be with you and I hope you still need to be with me, too.

You asked me how I want to be proposed to. Johnny, it doesn’t really matter as long as we end up together. I’m with you. I want to be with you for life. I hope you know that and you believe me. I’ll prove it to you. Give me another chance.

I took the GMAT yesterday after all. I thought about what you said. There’s not just one plan. Actually, there is one plan. The plan is to be with you. But there’s not only one way to do it. I needed to take the pressure off myself so I got it over with. I probably tanked the test but it doesn’t matter.

I’ve never written my feelings down like that. It’s a good idea. I hope this isn’t boring to read. I’ll do it more often. I’ll share with you more. I promise.

Where do we go from here, Johnny? I hope you will talk to me. I’ll make it up to you. I know I’ve hurt you. Johnny, you are my only love. You are the most important person in my life. You are my reason for living.

I’m sorry.

I hope you can forgive me.

Love,

Jaehyun

🐻

_August 15 th 8:12pm CT_

Johnny/Jaehyun

**Jaehyun**

I’m sorry.

I’m here.

I don’t know what to say to make it up to you.

All I can say is that I’m sorry and I love you.

I know I hurt you.

I need you more than you know.

Do you want to talk to me?

**Johnny**

Jaehyun you could shoot me in the face.

I would still want to talk to you.

There’s nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you. I’ve thought about it a lot. As much as it hurts, it’s true.

I read your email.

**Jaehyun**

I love you too Johnny

**Johnny**

Thank you for writing to me.

**Jaehyun**

I’m sorry I didn’t write back sooner.

**Johnny**

We really need to talk.

We can’t rely on texting anymore.

We need to talk each and every day.

Can you talk?

**Jaehyun**

Johnny…

Open your front door.

**Author's Note:**

> The theme is Romeo vs Romeo! You might say... what did this fic have to do with the theme? Shhhhh! Johnny and Jaehyun are both Romeos so anything they do is the theme! 🤣 Plus Johnny is the Romeo giving romantic advice.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/cherrysodapop14)
> 
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